A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for social security. After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and comeback later". The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed his social security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants, you might have gotten disability too."

Be sure you lock your doors and windows at home, this is serious... A Northern New Mexico man was found murdered in his home over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his bathtub. The tub had been filled with milk and cornflakes, and a banana was sticking out of his butt. Police suspect a cereal killer......

A lawyer and a blonde were sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leaned over and asked the blond if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and moves closer to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains how the game works: "I ask you a question, and if you know the answer you pay me, and vice versa. Again, she declines and tries to sleep. The chauvinistic lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blond he will easily win the match, so he makes another offer: "Okay, how about this. If you know the answer you pay me only $5.00, but if I don't know the answer I'll pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and figures there is no way to end this torment unless she plays. The lawyer asks the first question: "What is the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer puzzles over this, pulls out his laptop and consults all internet sources, calls his law library, but finally gives up and pulls five one hundred dollar bills from his wallet. The blonde accepts them and turns to take her nap. The lawyer says "Wait, what is the answer?" The blonde opens her wallet and hands him a five dollar bill.

You should be sure the person is a Sardar when he

* gets stabbed in a shoot-out.

* sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.

* tries to drown a fish in water.

* thinks socialism means partying.

* trips over a cordless phone.

* takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.

* At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he puts "Sagittarius."

* studies for a blood test and fails.

* sells the car for gas money.

* misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.

* drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, * "Airport left", he turns around and goes home.

* gets locked in a Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.

Ques:-Why do Sardars always smile during lightning storms?
Ans:- They think their picture is being taken.

Ques:- Why do sardars have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Ans:-Toes Go In First.

Ques:-Why can't sardars dial 911?
Ans:-They can not find the eleven on the phone

* A sardar and a American were walking outside when the American said "Oh, look at the dead bird." The sardar looked skyward and said "Where, where?

Ques:- What do smart sardars and UFOs have in common?
Ans:- You always hear about them but you never see them.

Ques:-Why does it take longer to build a sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?
Ans:-You have to hollow out the head.

* Two sardarjis walked toward each other on a country road. One was carrying a burlap bag over his shoulder. "Hey Bhai," the first sardarji drawled, "what's in the bag?" "Chickens," was the reply. "If I guess how many, can I have one?" "You can have both of them." "OK," the first sardarji said. "Five."

Ques:- Recently why do so many surds get injured when they try to send a letter bomb?
Ans:- In order to be modern they want to send the bomb by fax.

* A surd tried to sell his old car. But he had major problems because the car had 900,000 km on it. One day he told his problem to a Tamilian working in the same factory. The Tamilian told him: "There is a possibility to make the car saleable. But it is not legal." "That does not matter, replied the surd, "if I only can sell the car." "OK," said the Tamilian. "Here is the address of a friend of mine in Chennai. He owns a car repair shop. If you give him my regards, he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 km. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore." So the following weekend the surd made a trip to Chennai. About one month after that the Tamilian asked the surd: "Did you now sell your car?" "No," replied the surd, "why should I? It has only 50 000 km on it."

* There is a large group of surd people in a bar and they are having a celebration. Another man walks into the bar and sees the celebration and asks why all the surd people are celebrating. One of the surds says: "We have just solved a 100 piece jigsaw puzzle within six hours." The man says:"I am sorry. I do not see what the big deal is." The surd replies: "On the box it says 'from 3 to 5 years'."

* Two surds go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore. The first surd says: "I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish." The other answers: "Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot." "You idiot!" replies the first. "How do you know we will get the same boat tomorrow?"

* A Surd prime minister visited the president of the neighbouring country and complained about all this jokes about surds that others tell each other. "This leads to the impression that all surds are stupid," he said. "You should not take this so earnestly," answered the neighboring minister. "These are only jokes and not true stories. And there are also stupid people in our country. I will prove it to you." Saying so he went to his driver and said: "Please drive to my home and find out, whether I am at home." The driver immediately went on his way. The surd prime minister was satisfied: "He is very stupid indeed. Theres a public phone just at the corner. It would have been easier to ring."

* A surd walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. A coke pops out. The surd looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. He returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps popping out drinks. A man walks up behind the surd and watches him doing this for a few minutes before stopping and him and asking if someone else could have a go. The surd spins around and shouts: "Can you not see that I am winning."

* Two surds were walking through the woods when one looked down and said: "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other surd looked and said: "Those are not deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They kept arguing and arguing. Half an hour later they were both killed by a train.

* A surd goes to a barber shop wearing walkman headphones. He tells the hairdresser: "Dress my hair please, but do not remove the headphones." The hairdresser does his job but needs to get under the headphones to finish his work. He removes the headphones thinking that the surd will never even notice .. The surd falls to the floor, chokes, turns blue and dies. The hairdresser picks up the headphones to see what he was listening to and hears: "Breath In, Breath Out, Breath In, Breath Out....."